Grumbogreen - Jealousy
Support and Strategies
Who is Grumbogreen?
Grumbogreen is the feeling of jealousy, that twisty, stormy feeling we get when someone else has the attention, love, or connection we wish was ours.
Grumbogreen often shows up when a sibling gets more cuddles, a friend plays with someone else, or a parent is busy.
Grumbogreen isn’t bad; he’s a signal of longing for closeness. But if he grows too big, he can make children ‘clingy’, cross, or shut down.
How can we help our Children learn about Grumbogreen?
🤔Start With Curiosity
Try asking your child:
“Where do you feel Grumbogreen in your body right now?” (Chest? Tummy? Face?)
“If Grumbogreen had a colour today, what would it be?” (Green? Dark grey? Purple?)
“What do you think Grumbogreen is trying to tell us?”
🧰Grumbogreen Toolkit/secret soft side
Deep down, Grumbogreen is really saying: “I want to feel loved and included too.”
You could help by:
Connection tokens : draw hearts or stars together that your child can “cash in” for a cuddle or special time.
Special space: create a cosy corner that belongs to them when they need extra connection.
Jealousy drawing: picture Grumbogreen, then draw how he looks when he softens (maybe smaller, calmer, or even smiling).
Grumbogreen Kit: photo of family/friends, favourite cuddly toy, or a note reminding them “You are loved.”
👇 Dr Nat’s Top Tips for parent, carers and Teachers: When Grumbogreen is around…
• Name it kindly. “Looks like Grumbogreen is visiting, it is hard when we feel left out.”
• Validate the need. “It makes sense you want my attention, you are important to me.”
• Offer reassurance. Show love through words, touch, or time, even in small doses.
• Model fairness, not sameness. Explain that love is infinite, even if time and attention are shared differently.
🧘 Children’s Disarming strategies for Grumbogreen (Jealousy)
🃏 Sparkle Share
💎 Say out loud one thing you admire about the other person, and one thing you like about yourself.
This clears the Glow Grab by letting everyone shine.
🃏 Kindness Echo
🎶 Instead of repeating someone’s win, clap or cheer for them.
Turns Echo Boast into an amplifier of joy.
🃏 Friendship Anchor
⚓️ Place a hand on your heart and remind yourself: “I am special too, just as I am.”
Helps untangle the Tug of Who?
🃏 Joy Spark
🔆 Think of something small you’re grateful for right now, a smile, a snack, a comfy chair.
Re-lights the space dimmed by the Frown Flare.
🃏 Cloud Clearer
🌬 Take a slow breath in and whisper, “I am enough.” Blow the breath out like you’re clearing mist.
Disperses the Comparison Cloud.